I THINK I JUST CREAMED IN MY PANTS A LITTLE

 


HOLY SHIT. This is seriously HAUTE. I'm a little scared but slightly turned on at the same time.
I love you Gareth Pugh.

Tell me how much you love it.

THE BITCH IS BACK

 
Now, I know it's been over 3 months since I posted last... but the bitch is back with a vengeance and a Britney Spears inspired shaved head. You heard me right, my golden locks are gone, I'm 15 pounds fatter, and I'm a certified hair stylist but I'm still and will always remain THE HAUTE BITCH.

Check out my friends and I on a typical saturday night. The theme of the party was CAMP VS. CAMP (meaning Camp as in going on a camping trip and Camp meaning extremely flamboyant/feminine). Do you recognize some of my former Haute Bitch of the Month gorgo's?

All the photography was done by my good friend Shane Orion Oosterhoff! He's SO amazingly talented, check out some of his work on the website HERE

Shane and I in our homosexual camping gear on the left.

Recognize the blonde on the left? Click HERE.

Recognize "her"? If you need a refresher, Click HERE.

MISS ME?

VEGAS, BABY

 

What He's Wearing

See through Tank: American Apparel, Shorts: DIY Cutoffs, Sandals: Havianas, Hat: Urban Outfitters

What They're Wearing

GORGY PORGY

The bleach must be sinking into my brain because I had several blonde "happenings" whilst on my 5 day vaca. Let's start with the worst, We're on the way to the airport when my bf passes me our itinerary for our trip back to Vancouver only to find out that I actually read our ARRIVAL time rather than DEPARTURE. S-M-R-T. - $500. Sweet.

On a brigher side, when at Cirque Du Soleil's "Zumanity", The host/ess a.k.a. Drag Queen was walking throughout the front row, "Look at all these beautiful people here tonight!" *Stops at my boyfriend and I*... "I didn't know I had my own gay section?... Aww... Was Cher all sold out?" I guess we're that HOMOSEXUAL. Anyhow, if you haven't seen a Cirque show I really recommend you watch Zumanity because the guys were EXTREMELY hot with the best bodies I've ever laid my eyes on. Plus it's extremely sexual AND it made my vagina wet.

I didn't get the most amazing shots to capture the trip because I had another blonde moment and forgot to bring my tripod and proper lenses :( WAHHH.

PS. I didn't get any shots of myself, just my sexy man and a couple friends. My six pack is now a single ab and I'm looking to gain readers not lose them ;)

ALEJANDRO

 


I want gun titties too.

GIVEAWAY WINNER

 
And the winner is... Renee from TX! Congrats!

I'm on my way to Vegas for my friends Stagette. Be back in 5 days with lots of pictures and stories. xoxo

H SIZE FOR HAUTE

 


Ok, so I know Heidi and her new improved plastic face may be old news. But seriously, have you listened to her single "Superficial"? The lyrics scare me. She or her middle aged male song writer is completely delusional of her image . I think my favourite part has to be "They just mad cause I'm sexy, famous, and I'm rich. I rock the latest fashion and I set the latest trends" I'm pretty sure the only "trends" she's rocking is looking like a retired porn star suffering from genital warts. Love it or hate it, you gotta admit it's catchy despite the fact that she sounds like a beluga whale with Auto-Tune.

For "The Hills" watchers - Do you think I should get H sized boobs for Haute?

PS. HAVE YOU ENTERED MY GIVEAWAY? DO IT OR DIE. CLICK HERE.
The winner will be announced on the 30th!

HAUTE LIVING

 

Yes, that's our dishwasher!

Hello boys and girls and welcome to our humble abode! Calvyn and I just moved in last week so We've been extremely busy unpacking and such. You guys get to be the first to take a sneek peak into our new home. We haven't fully furnished the place yet, but will be once our bank accounts starts to get fat again. I'm loving everything about it so far, I mean who doesn't love a gastown 1911 Heritage conversion loft with 11 foot ceilings, polished concrete floors, exposed brick wall, integrated appliances, and a european kitchen/bathroom with exposed concrete beams?

PS. I'd love to hear some of your design ideas. What do you think I could do with the place next? A coffee table would be practical. Any suggestions?

PPS. Have you entered my giveaway for a brand new Hana Elite 1" Flat Iron? The deadline is the 30th! Enter while you can! It's free :)